I spoke with my ex-fiance the other night and I finally had the chance to understand why he is the way he is. He knows what he wants, but denies it because he’s not confident enough to handle the responsibility. He’s not living, but in existence. He doesn’t have any dreams, and the ones he had are slowly fading away because he’s come to the point of giving up on everything. He will not forgive himself for what he did to me, and that’s understandable. Now, I might have trust issues with allowing people to have my heart, but in due time it will fade away. However, he has to realize that I forgive him and now he has to forgive himself. God says, “In order to have others forgive you, you have forgive yourself by repentence. For him, I think needs to go soul searching and seek God for help. He’s the only way to move forward in life. I truly hope he forgives himself soon. It’s in the past and he can’t do anything about it. He has to move on with his life and strive for better. I still love him, but I pity him as well. For a person to be physically strong is so mentally and emotionally weak. Like they always say, “You can’t judge a book by its cover”. This person who I will always love has to forgive himself and maybe I wouldn’t pity him so much.
September 2010
This year has been the most stressful in a while. I’m content with most of them, except for one. The one I am talking about is my breakup with someone I’ve been with for 8 years now. I am fine with the breakup and constantly reaching my goals. I was going to do that with or without him, but it would be nice to share that with him. After this breakup, I’ve come to the point where I do not trust anyone with my heart, people become irresponsible with it and I end up getting hurt. This heart is mine until I can find a reliable, strong, and responsible person to give. I’ve noticed I’ve become cold after the breakup, but if that’s keeping me safe for a while; I don’t mind. My heart is mine and no one else’s.
Yesterday was amazing! I went hiking and mountain climbing. I’ve been wanting to do it for a very long time and finally had the chance to do so. Mountain climbing is such an adrenaline rush and hiking had my heart racing. I went to many caves and trails and even took pictures! I thought that my body would be sore, but it’s ok. This is very shocking to me, lol. Next week, I plan to go again.
My pals are talented and gifted in so many ways… #respect
What I am going to say has been an issue for a very long time. I’m tired of seeing it and keeping my mouth closed. So, here it goes…
Boys,
I know you think it’s cool to have your pants hanging off of your ass, but it’s rather disgusting. If you didn’t know, sagging originated in prisons for males to let other males know that they’re invited to any sexual pleasure they wanted to meet. Also, when I think of guys having their pants down to their knees, I feel that it’s indecent and stupid. I feel that uneducated people only walk out like that. Therefore, sagging is not cute and very unattractive.
Girls,
It’s fine to be comfortable in your own skin, but when you know you have some “layers” I think you should be prohibited to wear clothes that revealed certain areas of your body. You know when your clothes are being too revealing. I’m not calling anyone out, but I’m saying this out of respect. Ladies should want to be respected, but that’s impossible when you wear clothes that are too revealing. To make the long story short, take respect for your body and others will respect you.
Boys and Girls… GET IT TOGETHER!!!
